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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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The town's a mix of old souls and raw vibes. Street names—yeah, we got gems like Tshela Road and Mzansi Avenue. Mzansi Avenue's always hustlin'. Tshela Road windin' like a river too youthful to care. I often stroll down these streets with deep thoughts, feelin’ the pulse of life. This place, especially around Tulip Park, reminds me of Attenborough’s calm voice narrating a nature doc—every tree and flower tells a secret.

Funeral of Shebeshxt ‘s daughter Onthantile Chuene underway in Lebowakgomo